Hello Dear Friend,
This is a long read, so if you’re here and ready to absorb this lengthy exposition, thank you for your time. Lately, I find myself writing about these deeper topics whenever there is a turning point in my life that I feel I should address. For those who have followed me for over a decade now, reading the course of how my life has unfolded and learned the lessons turned to wisdom, the heartbreak transformed to growth and strength, and all the adventures that have humbled me back to my humanity–all these things for which I write about, I write for you so that you will never feel alone in your life’s journey.
I write because I’m sure you need the same kind of guidance, reassurance, and acceptance I needed to continue choosing to live every day, knowing that at any point, my depression and fears could consume me if I let it. But I starve depression from taking control, and instead feed my life and soul with meaning and love. If you have been on this journey with me for this long, thank you for coming and staying. You are always welcome here with me.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the past decade is how resilient the human spirit and heart really are. That even through several heartbreaks which all look and feel different in intensity; through long distance relationships and insecurities; through derailed career paths and questions about one’s life purpose; through sudden deaths and watching loved one’s health fail; through abusive relationships that threatened your very well-being and existence; through momentary glitches of self-destructive thinking patterns; through proud moments where you’ve cared enough to get out and live and feel something beautiful; through extreme difficulties that brought profound change and gratitude–that through it all, we come out a more raw and transformed being, shedding the layers that held us down, and revealing to ourselves the true shape of who we are and the potential greatness of our life, one challenge at a time.
With this resilience in hand, anything is possible if you make a deliberate choice to make the impossible, possible. Creating the life you wanted. Financial security. Making a life with the woman or man of your dreams. Building a family. Experiencing adventure. Learning 5 languages. Taking up painting or swordsmanship. Don’t let time make you a slave to age. Master it by showing it the vigor you have for life and you will never feel like it’s too late for anything.
Having resilience cultivates growth-mentality and growth-mentality is what fear and rejection can never conquer. But you have to keep choosing to get back up and face all the messiness of life, love, and suffering head on, knowing that every choice is an act towards bringing greatness closer into your life. One thing I tell myself whenever I meet a challenge or faced with something I don’t always have the answer to is this very simple, yet profound statement:
You are always one choice away from having a completely different life.
I always think the choices we make in life are investments toward the kind of return we want in life. Of course everything that involves matters of the heart are risky, but anything worth having for a life of meaning is no easy task. You’ll have your ego shattered, your pride challenged, your heart cut open in different ways, and your mind fractured into pieces each time, but know that you are unbreakable when you have resilience because the payoff to see that view of you close to all this greatness is an indescribable feeling.
Personally, I make sure to invest in choices that expand my love and understanding first and foremost, my knowledge and intelligence of our world and people and the ideas that exist, and my talents and skills so that I can leave a legacy that inspires people to be better humans. The view I imagine experiencing when I get there will be filled with immense beauty and wonder and I know that I am worthy of it because I have turned down every opportunity to play it safe and steady my whole life.
Don’t just exist as a fact or mere participant of life anymore. Exist because humanity and the world demand that you fulfill your life’s meaning so that you can lead, inspire, and elevate our civilization.
This turning point I mentioned earlier is one I believe has been in the making for years for me. Many years ago I wrote about what I wanted my life to look like and how I wanted to go about designing it. I am a true believer that nothing is impossible unless you choose to make it impossible. It’s your frame of mind and attitude that will determine how your life will grow or shrink. So listen deeply to the words you tell yourself because those words shape your attitude and the quality of life you’ll get.
Recently, I’ve been given the opportunity to relocate to Phoenix, Arizona for my career and grow professionally to learn everything I can from my boss/mentor. While the job title and pay bump are nice, I go into this believing that whatever challenges I face and knowledge I gain, despite every potential risk that could send me back crashing down, is a key part of my journey towards greatness and achieving all the things I want in my life. I always knew that I’d leave California eventually and the timing was perfect when the opportunity was presented.
I already had 75% of my belongings packed at a storage facility for the last 2.5 years while I lived minimally working from home accepting that my chapter in San Diego was nearing its close because I could feel the same hunger I’ve had all my life, arise when change was needed to push me towards actualizing my dreams into reality.
When the opportunity was presented, the timing was right, my mind clear, my heart full of love, and my hunger ready to be satiated, I wrote to my future self,
“I am all yours. Surprise me and bend my soul so that I never break. Stretch my love and vision far beyond everything I know I’m capable of. Challenge me to fight earnestly with devotion and accept with humility, the losses I’ll feel so that my love is never hardened or disillusioned by failure and rejection. To You, I owe myself, everything.”
I challenge you to do something similar and write to your future self. Treat your future self like they already exist. Imagine the greatest version of yourself and tell them everything you need to work on to become them.
I cannot explain why, but I hunger for something more grand. Something extremely challenging that would throw trials at me so that I could forge the virtues and qualities that grand goals depend on. I want a life of something so exquisite and rare to experience and share, that the risks of not exploring how to make it part of my reality, outweighs the ordinary comfort I’d feel if I chose a more socially constructed life.
Sure, it takes courage and conviction to say ‘yes’ to opportunities that possess huge unknown factors, so this kind of thinking isn’t for everyone, but for those wanting more out of their life, any opportunity to grow and learn is a chance you should take. These are the signals from your future self giving you a window of choice to take the greatest risks for a future you cannot predict. For those who want this, you will constantly feel vulnerable to failure and embarrassment and there will always be spectators anticipating the moment you call it quits. The losses may be more profound and painful, but I promise you that the wins and the great heights you’ll reach are far more rewarding.
The view and the distance I’ve covered in my life thus far is extraordinarily incredible and even I am surprised at how things have gone for me. Life is a divine comedy that makes me laugh and cry at the same time, but I will continue to wipe my tears and love it anyway despite its complete mystery and strangeness.
But this isn’t just about me and where I’m going, I mostly thought about how to turn my story and wisdom into a spark that might be lit in someone else’s journey of self-actualization because there’s no better feeling for me than to hear from my readers how my words have shaped the success and journey of their story. Remember? I write for you.
I got to thinking about the paths I’ve chosen and the obstacles I faced for firmly standing with my dreams and idealistic visions because along the way, I met reality and it hit me in ways where I found myself financially struggling, moving from place to place, questioning my sanity and purpose for existing, being taken advantage of emotionally and physically, and hitting rock bottom several times.
I was suicidal and manic depressive in my early youth and throughout my 20’s. I felt misunderstood and rejected for having lofty grand visions and an idealistic temperament. I felt utterly alone with my thoughts, ideas and desires, and yet, the one crucial part that kept me hanging on was this insane belief that I was brought into this world to shape it in the most impactful way I knew: through my gifts as a writer and my unique ability to access the depths of my own love and speak with a whole-heartedness that touch people in a special way. Having felt and fought my emotional demons helped me recognize what I needed out of my own life and the outside world and by doing so, I created the engine for what would propel me to trust my intuition, use my talents and knowledge, and lead how I know best: by example.
You have to discover and be able to share what touches you and moves you to understand what you want out of life, and by knowing oneself and speaking up for what you want no matter what societal demands or circumstances you’re under, you gain a skill that so few of us choose to build: bravery, in living your truest, greatest self. Bravery is the engine that will propel you forward and upwards, going anywhere you want, so that you can find all the pieces to build the life you dreamed of.
Take a deep breath, because this small act of introspection and courage is the catalyst that sets off more acts of bravery. And when the wheels are set in motion and momentum begins, I promise you’ll start to feel the high and adrenaline that comes when you see the risks you’ve taken push your growth and finally transform everything you’ve ever dreamed of for your life, into your reality and future. You become the commander and artist, envisioning and designing what you want with pristine clarity and leading with the knowledge you have gained to take all these pieces and turn them into successes that become your life’s meaning and legacy.
As you continue to chart your course towards the destinations you seek in your life’s work with the resilience, bravery, and zest you’ve taken with you, something incredible happens that opens the gate to everything beyond the borders and atmosphere of your dreams and what we have known and achieved thus far. Your heart begins to soften, your senses become attuned to the compass of your love and desires, your fears and doubts go out the window, your vulnerabilities comforted with peace, your values and beliefs honored, and you watch as the master of your mind kneel and pledge its loyalty to the magnificence of your heart and its power to transform your life and the lives of others. And then…
We begin to live a life of meaning and we learn to never touch anything with half your heart again, because greatness requires the biggest gamble of going all-in with your heart and your soul, and a fierce unwavering love that no longer cowers to fear and the mediocre.
I honestly believe that love, and any shape or form of it, can transform the quality of life we’ll have. To be worthy of your greatness and full potential, you have to be willing to give 100% of your love, honesty, and devotion to all the pieces that will carve your path to growth and greatness. Love gives us the vision and purpose. Knowledge gives us the tools to guide us to fulfilling that vision.
I’d like to believe that each and every one of us have this untapped intensity that is laying dormant in our heart until someone or something can electrify it just a little bit so that when we do feel it, our mind is lit with the abundance of possibility and the hope that we can become more than what we know and have experienced; that we can love and be loved immensely; that our goals and life’s work can be achieved; that we can reinvent ourselves and take as many detours as we want; that we can break societal norms and build a better world.
When we become self aware of this in ourselves, we can help others ignite the fire of bravery in themselves and altogether, we can elevate our existence to become a race that accelerates towards great, positive change and serves with loyalty to the magnitude of our heart’s power to transform. When you make the choice to believe that you are worthy of something greater in your life, taking the right risks could be the difference between living an ordinary life and living an extraordinary life.
“Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human being. If not, leave this gathering. Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.” – Rumi
You’ll know when you want something more when you begin feeling lost in your steadiness and routine. You’ll know the ache of hearing your dreams and goals suffering when they aren’t being met. But I believe in you, because I believed in myself through all the adversity I’ve faced. I believe you can pick yourself up and make the only choice that is required of greatness:
To go beyond the horizon of your dreams.
And soar higher, and farther
than you ever imagined going.
I believe this because the challenge has already presented itself to me. And now, I present it to you. I challenge you to reach your potential and pass through the gates of greatness because I know I’d love to see you there and celebrate you.
Go on. Take courage. Take risks. Love whole-heartedly.
Go all-in for everything you want.
And if none of this is for you. Keep going. Stay curious.
Bravery is a choice and you’re one choice away from having a completely different life.
Yours,
Noemi
soulcentric. 